‘A lesson you quickly learn as a leader is that there is never a shortage of opinions about the decisions you make. It doesn’t matter how big or small the decision might be, people are going to let you know about it. People make the phrase “what if?” their job or even worse they just don’t like or agree with your opinion but have no alternative solution. There are so many opinions out there that we can even classify them into different groups or at least I know I do. Below you will find some of the names I use for the opinion groups:
Monday Morning Quarterbacks (The I would have done it this way group)
Awfulizers (It can’t be done, it will never work, it's horrible etc… group)
Not Gonna Do Its (The decision is just stupid group)
I Don’t Care What We do (But I Really Do Crew)
It’s Not My Rodeo (This is my passive aggressive opinion group)
I would imagine you know several people that could fit into any one of these groups. Let me be clear about something before we get any deeper into the opinions of others. I know as a leader I like to hear other opinions, however there is a time and place. When we are seeking opinions and people participate in that process we are working collaboratively using all of our best ideas to create the best outcome. The opinions that frustrate us the most are those that come from the people that didn’t speak up or take part in the process when they had an opportunity to do so. I think every leader can identify with this but the question we need to ask ourselves is: How is getting frustrated going to help us? It never serves us to let something frustrate us as my friend Dr. Gilbert from Success Hotline says “don’t get frustrated, get fascinated.”
What to do when the opinions start coming in?
When the opinions start to flood our inbox, social media and voicemail we need to maintain some perspective. An important piece to dealing with all the opinions we receive is being able to filter them into different categories because if we don’t we would never get anything else accomplished. Here are a few questions I use to organize the opinions I’m receiving.
Who does the communication come from? (bosses, team members, staff etc.)
Does the decision directly involve the person sharing their opinion with me?
Is the opinion asking for clarification or understanding?
Is the opinion actually an opinion or is it just criticism or people venting?
Is it a decision that we need to spend any additional time on?
The last question is probably the most important. We make a lot of decisions that we just don’t need to spend anymore time on. The vast majority of the decisions we make in a single day will be minor decisions and will not have a major impact on the culture of our organization. The one thing that will give you insight into whether you should spend more time on a decision or not is if you get flooded with a high volume of opinions and they continue to come in for days after your decision. That may be telling you that some deeper reflection and reevaluation is needed. This is where the idea of becoming fascinated rather than frustrated comes alive.
How do we get fascinated?
Instead of getting frustrated with the opinions of others we need to do a few things
Show some grace and understanding. The opinions of others are rooted in their feelings. Sometimes people just need to feel like they have been heard.
Make sure that we didn’t exclude people in the process that should have been at the table when we were gathering information and ideas.
Take time to reflect and see if there is merit in their opinion.
Remind yourself that you may have information that others don’t so don’t take it personally.
One last piece of advice WE ALL have opinions, so show some compassion and lean into people when they come to share their opinion with you. You will probably find yourself on the other side of someone else's decision with your own opinion soon enough. Have a great week and make sure you light the WICK of Leadership for those that you are leading by Working hard, acting with Integrity, being Committed and treating people with Kindness.
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