Welcoming Hope
Reframing complaints into hope and welcoming conversations without judgement
This week I have been inspired by two quotes that I can’t get out of my head and have challenged me to think about how I approach my relationships with people. The first came from my pastor when she asked the question “are we going to welcome people or judge them?” The second quote was a Jonathan Soroff quote “underneath every complaint is a hope.” I couldn’t help but see that they have a connection that we can’t ignore.
Are we going to welcome people or judge them?
As leaders we probably have a natural tendency to judge people, situations and problems too quickly sometimes. There are two reasons for this; the first is that we are protective of our people and our organizations because we care deeply for them. The second reason is that we have so many demands on us as leaders that we learn to assess and make decisions quickly to maintain efficiency. We also all allow our personal history and experiences to influence how we receive people. The question I asked myself after hearing my pastor pose this question was: can I be welcoming if I’m being judgmental? When we lead with judgement people can tell and it sets us up for a less than ideal situation. Our body language, tone of voice and facial expressions will give it away. Once that happens our interaction moves into one that lacks trust, safety and a mutual respect. When we welcome people with an open mind free of judgement it puts us in a much more natural place to work together. This is especially important when we consider the mission and vision of our organization.
Underneath every complaint is a hope.
We hear a lot of complaints as leaders. It is the nature of our job that people will come to us with a variety of complaints on any given day. People bring us complaints because they want a solution, need help or they may just want to vent. We see them for what they are complaints, but let me ask you this: what if we stopped framing things as complaints and looked at them as things people hope to see happen? What if we coached our teams to come to us with their hopes instead of their complaints? Is your conversation going to be different? I bet you that the conversations will be more positive, collaborative and less judgmental. We don’t ever get excited about complaints but I know people get excited about hope. Hope is about the possibilities that we can create for ourselves, schools, businesses or teams. That sounds a lot more interesting and fun than dealing with a list of complaints doesn’t it?
How are these two things connected?
It wasn’t hard for me to connect the dots with these two quotes. Both of them are grounded in positivity and the importance of building strong relationships. If we lack a positive outlook then our relationships will lack trust and respect. We all know if people don’t trust their leaders they will be less likely to share with them. When this happens our relationships are fractured and true collaboration and partnership will not be achieved. When we reach this point people are operating in a vacuum and we all know that we are much smarter, more capable together and achieve so much more when we are working together.. Have a great day and don’t forget to light the WICK of Leadership for the people you are leading by Working hard, acting with Integrity, being Committed and treating people with Kindness.
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