“I Didn’t Have A Choice”

We all make tough choices in our lives. We often try to explain our reason for making those choices with the phrase “I didn’t have a choice.”  Monday I found myself reflecting on some of my recent choices and it got me thinking about that phrase and the different ways we use it.

We Use It To:

• Make excuses

• Deflect answering the tough questions

• Avoid doing the tough things

Making Excuses

When we try something that fails and we feel insecure or are worried about the judgement that is bearing down on us we will say “I didn’t have a choice.” This is us rationalizing more for our own benefit than anybody else's.  This is really about making us feel better and that isn’t going to help us maintain our standards.

Deflecting 

When we have to be accountable for our actions it is easier to say “I didn’t have a choice” than to answer for something we know we shouldn’t have done or could have done differently.  This is more about keeping others at bay.  The worst part of using it in this way is that it is treating people as if they couldn’t possibly understand the situation we are dealing with.  When people use it with us we feel like we are being lied to and disrespected.

Avoiding

Most of the time we know we have more than one choice.  We know if we search long enough, keep asking questions and ask others for input we can find alternatives.  What we also know is that this is hard work and it will require us to get out of our comfort zones and do things that we may not like to do.  It is easier to say “I didn’t have a choice” than to pull ourselves up by the boot straps, roll up our sleeves and get to work doing hard things. 

One final point that must be mentioned is that when we use  “I didn’t have a choice.”  It’s a lie.  We always have a choice because it never comes down to just one choice.  We made a series of choices to get here and we can’t get out of it by using this tired old excuse that deflects and avoids the real issues at hand.  Remember to have a great week and light the WICK of leadership by Working hard, acting with Integrity, being Committed and being Kind.

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